While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Tom and his wife Peg listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

He looked at Tom and asked, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"

The rest of the story is not pleasant.

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

Make a move...

Love is much more that a fuzzy feeling of attraction - it is an action, a clear, caring and consistant movement toward another person. The ways that you move toward your spouse are up to you to create based on what you know about what matters to them. Pay attention to them, study to see what matters, what entertains, what grows, what feels good, what delights your spouse and find actions that feed those areas. 

Deliberate, purposeful, intentional, premeditated acts of love, based on who you know them to be.  

 Here are some ideas to help spur your thinking, use them how you wish, mix and match, customize them to your life and relationships--

You always hear experts advising couples to "make weekly dates" or "go away on a couple's weekend." These are fantastic ideas that can be very exciting, but let's be realistic: how often can busy couples expect to drop everything and get away? Especially when children enter the picture. So how about some nearly free expressions of love you can do any day of the week. Here are some examples of ways to express love and attention that let busy couples romance each other in the midst of normal everyday life.


  • Embrace your life-together story. Build a photo album together, pull out your wedding video or pictures and relive the day, or write your own romance story. Recalling special memories together is a great way to revive and strengthen your bond.
  • Be kids together. Have a Silly String ambush or pillow fight, challenge each other to a game of hopscotch, or cuddle on the couch and laugh as you watch cartoons.
  • Wrap your mate in hot love. While your sweetie showers, sneak his towel into the dryer, and as he steps out, wrap him in fluffy warmth. Or use the same idea to warm her feet when she snuggles in bed on a chilly night.
  • Speak the languages of love. Surprise your "amante" (Italian for "lover") with some international sweet talk. Access an exhaustive list of ways to say "I love you" in different languages at www.electpress.com/loveandromance/iloveyou.htm
  • Write love notes to each other. Write on the bathroom mirror before it steams up so it appears while she showers, spell it out in his oatmeal with raisins, on her dashboard with yarn, or use lipstick on your bathroom mirror. Compose your own poem, borrow a verse from Song of Songs, or just write "I love you."
  • Turn on the charm. Who says you have to stop flirting once you're married? At your next party, wink at him across a crowded room, or slip your arm around her as you make social small talk. That personal connection amid the crowd is like saying, "This is great, but I'd rather be with you!"
  • Make a digital connection. E-mail your spouse throughout the day, just to say you're thinking of him. Text Messaging is also a quick and instant way to let her know you're thinking of her.
  • Pay attention to little things. When you step in to help with the daily ongoing chores—making dinner, bathing the kids, laundry—your spouse knows she's appreciated and loved. And completing a chore for your sweetie frees more time and energy for the two of you to enjoy other activities together.
  • Use the US Postal Service. Take some time and write an encouraging note, slap a stamp on it, and mail it. Don't just sign a card, but spend a little time and express your true feelings. Your spouse will love the surprise—especially since it won't be a credit card bill or junk mail!
  • Celebrate everything. Most couples celebrate the anniversary of their marriage or first date, but how about the anniversary of your engagement, or first kiss? (If you don't remember, think it through together and maybe you'll figure it out)There have been all kinds of milestones throughout your relationship, so mark each one with flowers, a card, or a romantic interlude.
  • Just say it. Your spouse needs to hear those three simple words daily. Whisper it, sing it, shout it. Say it.

Watch for more coming soon.